What wolf are you feeding?

A conversation about leaning towards discomfort.

"You're not like most parents," she remarked. I hadn't even realized she was sitting there.

Turning my head toward that blind spot, I noticed a grandmother smiling at me. She had overheard my conversation with my son's hockey coach.

I had just advised him not to shy away from allowing the boys to experience discomfort.

"Discomfort will teach them far more than comfort," I stated.

With curiosity, both inquired about my profession.

Before revealing that I am both a therapist and a coach, I explained that my perspective on embracing discomfort is not derived from books, but from personal challenges and the benefits I've gained from facing discomfort.

However, I also noted that literature and science support my experiences.

Which Wolf Are You Feeding?

You may have heard the story of the grandfather telling his grandson about feeding two wolves in battle. With great curiosity, the grandson asks which wolf wins, to which the grandfather replies, "The one you feed."

This story came to mind as I wrote this post, as I believe we have two perspectives on the inevitable discomfort in our lives.

One perspective is rooted in fear, where we choose to shield ourselves and our loved ones from discomfort, leaving us unprepared to grow or handle future challenges.

The alternative is to view discomfort as a signal of potential growth within us, prompting curiosity and a willingness to embrace it.

What Happens When You Feed the Wolf of Worry?

Initially, that wolf grows large and uncontrollable, ultimately dominating you.

It can become so overwhelming that you may remain stagnant, as any movement seems too daunting, allowing the wolf to dictate your path. In this scenario, you risk losing the battle and succumbing to fear.

Conversely, What Happens When You Feed the Wolf of Love?

With love comes freedom. You and the wolf need not exert control, as mutual harm is not a concern.

Nurturing the wolf of love enhances your confidence. The wolf recognizes you as both leader and companion.

This wolf becomes one with you, eliminating the need to shield yourself from discomfort, as protection resides within you.

Applying the "Wolf Talk" to Your Daily Life and Mindset:

How often do you feel as though fear dictates your decisions? Fear of others' perceptions, criticism, rejection, and failure?

If these fears resonate with you, consider how you might be inadvertently nurturing them:

1) Engaging with and discussing fear: "I'm not good enough for that job," "I don't want to attend the event, but what will people say?" "I hesitate to bring it up, fearing their anger."

2) Following fear's dictates: Complying with your fears' instructions only serves to strengthen them.

3) Neglecting to seek help in confronting fear: This is what keeps you stuck. You recognize your fear and its detrimental effects, yet take no action. Inaction is more detrimental than any potential mistake.

Feeding the wolf of fear has become normalized. We live in fear's shadow, mistaking it for normalcy. But I challenge you.

This week, take small steps to choose something new for yourself. It may be uncomfortable, but it could yield lasting positive results for you and those around you.

The wolf theory is powerful because our willingness, choices, and intentions sustain the wolves.

How might you choose to nurture the wolf of love this week?

PS: Did you know I teach a 12-week program that specializes on helping individuals like you, learn the psychological and mindfulness steps to take, to live the life of your dreams, instead of the life of you fears? Yup, I do!

You can read more about it here

Click Me

ps2; if you are in Ontario, your health benefits can cover this program :)

Love,

Olga