Balance work/life rhythm this fall season.

The morning air feels crispier and cooler. The summer plants no longer look as vibrant, and the pool toys are starting to look like abandoned ghosts from the past.

Taking a deep inhale, while holding my cup of coffee, standing on my deck, trying to capture one more ray on sunshine...I can feel and smell fall is in the air.

Happy memories of apple picking, thanksgiving dinners and (in my case) the birth of my son, all rush through my mind, reminding me of how much I love Fall.

A few weeks ago, I wasn't so connected to this love of fall. Opposite, I felt quite conflicted by the change of season and what it would bring.

I noticed frantic behaviours such as; looking for multiple activities to engage this fall (for me, for my son and for our family), I revised the list of items to have ready for my son's school multiple times, I over-shop for his return to school and, I wanted to talk about the schedule more times that my husband thought necessary.

I was anxious. All these behaviours told me so.

How to handle Fall Anxiety:

Each start of a new season brings change. With change comes resistance and the need for adaptation. It is normal for some of us, to feel a little worried about the changes and this could end up producing some anxiety.

The moment I was able to name the emotion that was causing my frantic behaviour, I was able to validate it. How, you may ask?

Validating an emotion is not the same as saying "this emotion is good", nope. Validating simply means that you can look at the emotion, name it and then give yourself permission to feel it- specially if it's uncomfortable.

Think of validation as "permission to feel".

No judgment needed, just permission to feel that feeling.

For me, the start of this fall, marked the start of my son's life in elementary in a new school and this would bring several changes to our routine-including a much longer commute than we are used to.

Turns out that I had many emotions and resistance towards this new life milestone. Fear, being the leading one.

Once you validate the emotion, you are then ready to look for factual thoughts.

Emotions are the by-product of our thoughts. When we have a feeling such as fear, that means that we are having thoughts that produce fear.

All thoughts are interpretations of the future, present or past.

Sometimes the way in which we chose to interpret past/present and future is inaccurate. In psychology they call these thoughts; "Cognitive distortions"-

So in order to get a handle of anxiety, we must learn to bring forward thoughts that foster calm, confidence and accuracy.

This is when I like to use my tool "think again" which you can download here

This tool allows you to question the accuracy of your current thoughts and it guides you to find new ways of thinking based on what it is real and factual- not based on your own made-up facts.

Fall Home/Work Life Balance

Every since I opened my private practice as a therapist and certified leadership coach, I realized quickly that the Fall was a unique time of the year where more than in any other season, couples, and individuals would sought out home/work balance.

I suspect it has to do with the amount of time off we have in the summer months - that we start the fall with a strong desire to bring some of the flexibility, relaxation and friendlessness of the summer into the fall.

I certainly felt freedom that came with not having hockey practice every weekend, no morning rush during the week, and no strict bed-time. IT WAS GLORIOUS.

But here we are, fall is setting in, and everyone is getting back to their routines.

How can we find some balance?

In order to find home/work balance, you must first ask yourself, what feels like balance to you.

Balance is the feeling that comes when no part of you is ignored.

Normally, people try to look for balance by; over doing. Working more, spending more time with the kids or, helping out more. None of which allows for quiet introspection.

Clients ask me: What do I have to do find that balance?

That's the problem, you are thinking what to do.

Balance is a feeling.

It is not achieved by productivity.

Home/Work balance is about finding satisfaction in both areas without over-doing or doing at all.

Hear me out.

You may be a parent, a partner and a professional. But you are primarily a human with needs.

Needs such as attention, respect, health, sleep, joy, rest.

If your day to day life ignores your needs, you will always be running after the next thing to do, thinking that's the missing piece.

Balance is a feeling of "I am being taken care of" by me.

Grab a pen and a paper. Ask yourself; What parts of me are getting no attention?

What does balance feel inside of me?

What stops me from giving myself that need and attention?

I also, would like to acknowledge that what feels like balance to you today, may not be the same next week. So, every week start with the same question; what parts of me need attention now?

I love my job, almost as much as I love being a mother and a wife. I do believe I am doing exactly what God wanted me to do when he gave me this life. Being of service to others is my gift.

Nonetheless, if I serve more than 20 hours a week, I no longer feel balanced.

Similarly, if I spend more than five days at home without time for me, I no longer feel balanced.

Balance isn't about not caring about work or home. It is about sharing some of you with work and home, while leaving enough for you.

This Fall, I'm running a 12 week program called Reset your Mindset, where I teach about balance, mindset and coming home to you, in am empowered, gentle way.

If this sounds like something you would like to be a part of, please email me your questions and we can take it from there.

Love,

Olga