The Day My Client Realized She Was the Problem, not them.
- Olga Lacroix
- 4 days ago
- 3 min read
Why her breakthrough is one most women secretly need.
I’ve coached hundreds of women over the years, and every once in a while, a session happens that I know will stay with me forever.
This was one of those.
She came to me feeling exhausted.
Drained.
Frustrated.
Carrying a long list of “proof” that her life was difficult because of everyone around her.
Her partner didn’t listen.
Her coworkers didn’t respect her boundaries.
Her kids didn’t appreciate her.
Her extended family expected too much.
Her life felt like a constant tug-of-war.
And she said something many women tell me in different words:
“If people around me changed, everything would be easier.”
She wasn’t arrogant.
She wasn’t dramatic.
She was tired.
And she genuinely believed her suffering was caused by other people’s behaviour.
The Mirror Work
At one point, after listening carefully, I asked her a question I rarely ask directly unless the relationship is strong:
“What if the problem isn’t them? What if the common denominator… is you?”
I said it gently.
Lovingly.
With no judgment — only curiosity.
She froze.
Not angry.
Not offended.
Just suddenly aware.
Her eyes filled with tears, and she whispered:
“but I try so hard”
And in that moment, something softened.
Not because she wanted to take blame — this wasn’t about blame.
It was about something much more empowering:
Responsibility.
Ownership.
Choice.
Because if she was the common denominator, then she wasn’t powerless anymore.
What She Discovered About Herself
Over the next weeks, she uncovered truths that most of us don’t see until someone helps us look:
She wasn’t enforcing boundaries — she was hinting at them.
She said yes when she wanted no.
She over-functioned and then resented people for leaning on her.
She assumed others “should know better” without communicating clearly.
She took responsibility for everyone’s emotions except her own.
She abandoned herself to hold everything together.
Her suffering wasn’t coming from “difficult people.”It was coming from patterns she didn’t know she was participating in.
And once she saw the patterns, her entire life began to shift.
The Extraordinary Before-and-After
She learned how to:
say what she meant
follow through on her boundaries
stop fixing everyone else’s problems
let people sit with their own consequences
stop apologizing for taking up space
allow others to be disappointed without taking it personally
And just like that…
Her relationship changed.
Her family dynamic softened.
Her workplace stress decreased.
Her anxiety reduced.
Her resentment dissolved.
Her confidence increased.
And — this is the part that still gives me goosebumps —none of the other people changed.
She did.
The Most Powerful Sentence She Ever Said to Me
Months later, during a session, she said:
“I never realized how exhausting it was to live in a world where everything was someone else’s fault… and how peaceful it is to live in a world where I have the power to change my part.”
That sentence, right there....
That’s emotional maturity.
That’s inner peace.
That’s evolution.
If You’re Reading This, Maybe You’re Ready Too
If you keep repeating the same patterns with:
partners
coworkers
friends
family
or yourself
Please hear this gently:
You are the common denominator — and that is the best news ever.
Not because you’re to blame.
But because you are the one with the power to break the pattern.
You don’t need another apology from someone else.
You don’t need the world to change.
You don’t need every relationship to behave perfectly.
You just need to do the inner work.
Through coaching.
Through therapy.
Through the courage to look within.
Because the day you decide to take ownership of your part is the day everything becomes possible.
And I promise — life on the other side is lighter than anything you’ve ever experienced.
If you want to chat more about this, feel free to send me an email or
consult call.
Talk soon,
Olga
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