The Leave You Didn't Take.
Oct 14, 2026 · @Olga
A survey caught my eye this week. More than a third of employees said they'd skipped a leave they really needed. Not because they didn't need it. Mostly because they worried about what it would do to their career, or the process just felt like too much. Almost half believed that stepping away could hurt their chances of moving up.
I read that and thought, oh, I know this one. I know it from my coaching room, and I know it from my own life.
So let's talk about it. Let's talk about our love affair with pushing, when pushing really does make sense, and when the bravest, smartest thing you can do is stop.
Push or pause? Both have their moment
I'm not anti-push. Not at all. Some seasons ask for more from us: a big launch, a tough quarter, a new role, a family move. Leaning in for a stretch can feel great. It can even be where we grow the most.
The trouble starts when the stretch never ends. When "just this busy season" turns into every season, and pushing stops being a choice and becomes who we are.
A few questions I like to ask myself (and my clients) to tell the difference:
Is there a finish line? Healthy pushing has an end date. Burnout pushing just keeps moving the goalpost.
Am I choosing this, or proving something? Pushing because it matters feels different from pushing so nobody thinks you're slacking.
What is my body telling me? Sleep, appetite, tummy, tension. Our bodies often know before our minds admit it.
Would I tell someone I love to keep going? If a friend were in your shoes, what would you say to them? Now try saying it to yourself.
If most of your answers point toward "pause", that's not weakness. That's wisdom.
Even elite athletes rest (it's in the plan!)
Think about any professional athlete. Nobody expects them to train at full intensity every single day. Rest days are written right into the schedule. So are easy weeks, recovery sessions and the slow wind-down before a big competition.
Why? Because that's when the body actually gets stronger. The training creates the stress, and the rest is where the gains happen. Skip the rest and you don't get a better athlete. You get an injured one.
We somehow forgot this applies to us too. Leading a team, running a department, carrying big decisions all day: that's demanding work for your brain and your nervous system. Rest isn't the opposite of high performance. It's part of the training.
My own wake-up call at 23
I learned this one the hard way.
I was 23, fresh into my social work career, and so ready to make a difference. In my head, taking a break meant I didn't care enough. Good social workers give everything, right? So I gave 120%. Every day. For three years.
That was about all my mind could take.
First it was my digestive health that went off. Then my relationships started to suffer. And in the end, it was my mind. I hit a wall I couldn't push through, no matter how much I cared.
That, my friends, happens once. Because it's how you learn that sustainability is born from pauses, rest and fun. Not from squeezing out one more hour, one more case, one more yes.
Caring deeply about your work and taking care of yourself aren't opposites. The second one is what makes the first one possible.
Fun is mandatory (yes, really)
These days I coach directors and executives who are brilliant at what they do. Many of them have quietly forgotten how to have fun.
Everything has become a task. Even family time starts to feel like one more responsibility, or one more place to perform well. The weekend hike gets planned like a project. Dinner turns into a status check. Vacation is something to get through, laptop half open.
If that sounds a little familiar, you're not alone, and nothing is wrong with you. It's what happens when pushing becomes the default for too long.
So here's my prescription, as a coach and a social worker: fun is mandatory. Not as a reward once the inbox is empty (it never will be). As part of the plan, just like rest days are for athletes.
A few small places to start this week:
Book one thing just for joy. Put it in your calendar like a meeting, and protect it like one.
Take the leave. If you've been putting off time you need, start the conversation this week.
Notice the "should". When family time feels like a duty, pause and ask: what would make this moment enjoyable for me, right now?
Ready to find your rhythm again?
If you're a leader who's been pushing for so long you're not sure how to stop, let's talk. Together we'll figure out when to push, when to pause, and how to bring the fun back into your work and your life, without losing the drive that got you here.
Book a free discovery call with me today. Your future self (and your family) will thank you.
Source: Why are many Canadians reluctant to take leaves from work?, HRD Canada, October 8, 2026 (Alight survey).
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